Ballroom dancing isn’t as glamorous as one would expect. His mother was a washed up star… her pregnancy with Ethan causing a premature temporary retirement. Even when she returned to the stage, fit as before, she was seen as a liability. A woman who has one kid will have another. They left her to teach children and perform at the local bar whenever they were short on acts. A deep resentment lay at the bottom of her and Ethan caught the brunt of this.
Feeling as though it were his fault however, and not wanting to become like the Father his mother always insulted, he worked hard. He smiled when she criticised and just tried harder to earn the love that should have been unconditional…
At school he became an attention seeker. He was liked by all, a bit of a class clown, but never close to anyone. People would come to him to chatter and natter about themselves but the conversation never fell on him, he was trusted but did not trust…. He thrives on that trust feeling that it in itself signifies a bond, one-sided as it is. The teachers begrudgingly liked him, despite his interruptions to class, there was something about that smile and the way his eyes lit up in those moments that made it forgivable.
He never thought he’d get into drugs… Then the long nights of training, performances and parties came along. It was only a few pick me ups at first; he was never overly dependant on them… until they became a source of revenue. He found that the fact that people trusted him, with his bright smile and playful eyes, and that made the business easier. They were relaxed enough to buy drugs from him. At high prices.
The end of the world came, his sponsor having declared war on the sponsor of his dancing partner. He never knew why, he thought there was little business in shoe freshener… but it seemed as though the governments they both backed financially were more than willing to fight it out for them. It occurred in the Middle East….. he’s never met anyone since from the Middle East.
The aftermath was filled with chopping up high grade drugs with anything he could find… that sometimes being the dust of a building close by or anything else. .. He still got people hooked though and people looked up to him with adoring eyes. He felt loved… used, they were similar to his mum after an especially good competition. He needed that, or so he told himself.
He never stayed too long in one place, for fear of becoming attached. He wanted superficial not long lasting, he preferred to be liked for what he gave off not disliked for the person inside of him.
His current location is the longest he’s ever stayed in one place… and while he still disappears for says on end to go sell drugs close by he hasn’t hooked anyone in the town. It’s nice to have a peaceful base and stay to yourself.
… if anyone tries to get close to him, and not the other way round, his bag is still packed in his rented room, sitting by the doorway
Working in a group gets to him a tad, he’s used to working at his own pace. He counters this with a smile as always though… but you won’t find him sticking out his neck for anyone soon. He does what benefits him and what does not disadvantage him. Not many people notice but the one’s that do are the people that Ethan is scared of getting close to. They’re grabbing at a mask he has come to live in, a mask that has trapped him.
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